I walk by your office every day of the week. I make multiple trips because I have no home. I sometimes sit outside of the post office just to pass the time. I normally have on blue jeans or dark brown pants and a t-shirt. My tennis shoes are very worn in. I wear my dark green winter coat no matter what the weather is because I have no where to keep it. Should the weather change, I'm prepared. I don't really have a home. I almost always have a drink with me and sometimes smoke a cigarette. I occasionally shield my face from your glares and stares or I put my hood up because I'm embarrassed and ashamed of my situation. I don't want you to look at me. Please don't try to talk to me because I don't want your help. I don't need your help. I don't want your attention. I'm a human being and not some freak. I'm too proud to accept your assistance. Please just leave me be.
You see me in the bank on almost a daily basis. I drive a really nice car but my clothes and hair are dirty. I smell of cigarette smoke and body odor and filth. My jeans are men's jeans and are 3 sizes too big for me. I have to wear a belt pulled really tight to keep them up and the cuffs have to be rolled up to avoid them dragging the ground. My shirt is an old t-shirt that was bleached to look like it was tie-dyed. I haven't taken a bath in weeks. My hands are so dirty that my fingernails are black. My son wears a black leather jacket, jeans, a tee shirt, and tennis shoes. His hair is very greasy and he hasn't shaved in a week. He reeks of cigarette smoke and uncleanliness. His nails are also dirty. He has a friend, an imaginary dragon, who he talks to on occasion. He also speaks in tongues. If he's not on his medicine, you will notice a difference in his personality. You look at me with disgust and hope that I will hurry out of the bank or that we will be way behind you in line so that you don't have to smell us or see us. We are humans and not animals. We have mental health issues. Please don't make fun of us or get angry. We may not realize that we smell or look so bad. We may be immune to it. We may think that we are clean or our standards are different than yours. Please don't judge us.
These are real people in my life. I see them almost every day near my workplace. I try not to judge or poke fun but sometimes I get really disgusted by them. I shouldn't be that way. This could easily be me. What happened in their lives to make them the way they are today? Did they lose their job? Were they abused? Did they do drugs? Do they have a drinking problem? Did they have a tragedy in their life? Were they born with mental illness? Did they make a bad decision that changed their lives forever? Do they have family? Were they abandoned by their family?
It makes me wonder. Yep, this could be me. I've been unemployed. I've had tragedy in my life. I have suffered from mental illness. Nope, I've never done drugs. I've never been abused. Thank God that I've never been homeless. I have a large, loving family and a big support group full of friends but what if everyone wanted me out of their lives? Truly, I could be one decision, event, catastrophe away from being in their shoes.
Since starting this show, I've tried to look at them with a different perspective. They deserve dignity. They don't need to be judged but need to be treated as human beings. They deserve respect regardless of how they look, how they smell, or how they act.
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